Two Months: Annabelle

How did this happen? How on EARTH is my baby girl two whole months old?! I don't even understand where time went. But yesterday (on the 5th), Annabelle turned two months. 

We are really in our groove now. I'm staying home with her while Lieutenant Lovemuffin is in grad school. We have our routine established, and it's working well. And let me just say - I am SO thankful that she seems to be running on a routine. That's so me (and Dan too). We didn't push a schedule on her, though; she just set it on her own.

Look at those rolls on her legs! And those calf muscles... she definitely inherited those from me (like I did from my mom). She puts her body weight on her little legs all the time. She supported herself for 30 seconds the other day (balancing on me, of course). It's crazy to me, but I have no reference point. We call her our crazy strong baby... but we have no idea how she stacks up to the rest. We have zero experience with babies until now.

Dan has dubbed the most fitting nickname yet: our little firecracker. Okay, it's not so much a nickname as it is a label. And it's SO true. We're going to have our hands full when she's a toddler and teenager. 

Her actual nicknames are the same as last month: Anna Banana, A-Belle, Hungry Hungry Hippo, Miss Piggy, Chunky Monkey, Snorty, Annabellina, Stinkerbelle, and my personal favorite, Waaannabelle (when she’s crying). 

Our pets are still just as interested as last month: Stormy loves her, follows her everywhere, and tries to sit on her. Gilligan and smudge couldn't care less that she's even in the house.

Annabelle is wearing newborn clothing still. We had to retire the Gerber brand onesies because they were too small all of a sudden (and I actually had to cut one off with scissors... mom of the year over here). Her 0-3 month clothing is HUGE on her still, so we're making do with newborn for now. It won't be long, though. She did graduate to size 1 diapers, though, and a few of her cloth diapers finally fit (the Bum Genius Freetimes). 

I can't believe how much she has grown. She still seems so teeny tiny to me, but then I look at old pictures and don't understand. I guess when I see her all day every day, I don't notice the subtle daily changes as much.h

For size reference, here she is at one day old, one month old, and two months old in the same newborn size sleeper. I doubt she'll be fitting into it for a three month picture.

• Did your babies grow too quickly also?

    

Mom Hair... and a Donation

Guys, I'm going to be real here.

Until recently, I hadn't cut my hair since March of 2014. Yeah, I'm serious - that's a year and a half!

But my ends were pretty dead... and it was taking me SO long to dry my hair (pregnancy made it even longer and thicker!)... oh, and did I mention that my hair brush literally snapped in h alf one morning while I was using it?!

That was my breaking point.

I knew I had to cut it, but I get really bad anxiety about haircuts. You can blame my mom for that one - she had my hair chopped off boy short when I was in Kindergarten because she didn't want to deal with French braiding it for acrobat competitions every weekend...

WHY?????? 

Ever since then, I just really dread getting a hair cut, even if it's a trim. So this was a pretty big deal.

I decided that since I was planning on cutting a fairly significant amount anyway, I should look into donating my hair. I had Lieutenant Lovemuffin break out his measuring tape, and he showed me where nine inches was, the minimum amount required for donation (some places). 

In the end, I had 12.5 inches cut off, and I sent my donation directly in to Wigs for Kids. I feel pretty good about my decision, and I had a huge weight (literally) lifted off of me. 

• Have you ever donated your hair?
• What's the most you've ever cut off at once?

    

Annabelle's First Halloween

I think it's safe to say that Annabelle had a great Halloween with many adorable outfits.

My personal favorite, though? Her homemade chocolate chip cookie costume. We called her Baby Cookie all throughout my pregnancy (because our last name is Cook). We just couldn't resist the costume...

She didn't wear it for long. We didn't go trick or treating. Maybe next year! But we did go to a pot luck with some AFIT friends, and she was adorable there. And then she fell asleep, so we changed her into her PJs while we ate dinner and played games with friends.

I hope you all had a fun Halloween as well and adjusted to the time change!

    

Crazy Cat Baby

You all probably already know that I'm a crazy cat lady. Well, it looks like everyone I know wants Annabelle to be that way too.

We have somehow accumulated THREE separate black cat outfits for Halloween this year, and I just couldn't resist any of them.

Annabelle's such a good sport... she let me change her outfit three times in a row to get these photos - and luckily, we had a bow to match each one!

*Check back next week to see her actual Halloween costume! These are just fun outfits for the week!*

• Which Halloween outfit do YOU like best?

    

When Breastfeeding Isn't As Easy As It Looks

Okay, guys, I'm gonna be real today. And if you don't want to read about breastfeeding, this post probably isn't for you. I'm going to use the word nipple - fair warning.

This article about exclusive pumping inspired me to share my struggle. It's definitely worth a read if you're not sure how much goes into exclusively pumping breastmilk for a baby.

*I am not anti formula feeding. I am pro feeding your baby and taking care of your baby and helping your baby grow strong in whatever way you choose. This is simply about how much I had my own heart set on breastfeeding.*

This is something I haven't really shared with many people yet... mostly just people who have visited us in Ohio to meet sweet Annabelle. Or people who see me feeding my tiny baby a bottle and I feel the need to justify myself for whatever reason. Or the judgmental ENT who performed my baby's tongue tie clip and was flabbergasted that I couldn't just whip out a breast to feed Annabelle after the procedure. 

Breastfeeding sure isn't as easy as they make it look and sound when you take all those classes during pregnancy. They show you videos of babies, minutes old, crawling up to their mothers' breasts and latching on like it's no big deal - like it's the only thing they know how to do in the entire world. Lactation consultants come speak about how all you have to do is move your baby's mouth if they have a poor latch - and voila - problem solved.

Not so much.

Let me start at the very beginning. 

Annabelle was born via induction (more on that soon - hopefully), and the medicine used can make breastfeeding more difficult. She also was taken from me after about 15 seconds due to her not crying. I didn't get her back in my arms for over 40 minutes, missing out on crucial skin to skin bonding time.  That can also hinder the breastfeeding process. That said, those things may have contributed to us not being able to feed/eat the way I had planned. 

The more likely reason? Who knows? Annabelle has a small mouth. She also eats like a barracuda, growling at whatever comes her way, shaking her head in excitement, and going crazy when the food doesn't come out quickly enough for her liking. I tried, and I tried to get her to eat from me. Dan tried his best to help by supporting her in different positions for me. He held her hands back out of the way. He called the nurses in to help (and they tried everything - they were wonderful). He even called the lactation consultant on base multiple times to get us seen by her - and she was so helpful too... even if the only thing she helped me with was accepting the fact that breastfeeding just wasn't going to work for us.

I was pretty devastated. I had been pumping milk since the second day of Annabelle's life, but I wasn't getting much - certainly not enough to feed her. Because of her low birth weight (just over six pounds), the pediatricians were worried and told us to supplement with formula... so we did. I kept pumping, as painful as it was, and as little as I was getting, so my baby could at least benefit from the nutrients and antibodies in my breastmilk. Dan tried his best to be supportive, but I felt like I was letting our entire family down. Annabelle wasn't getting the milk I thought she deserved. Dan was having to spend money on formula, which we did NOT plan on at all. And I was feeling down because I felt like I let them both down.

But if you know me at all, you know how stubborn I am. Stubborn people are persistent... and I did not give up. While I never have been able to get Annabelle to latch onto me for more than 20 seconds, I did keep pumping. Now, I'm making more milk than she drinks each day by 10 whole ounces. I have pumped close to 1,200 ounces in the past seven weeks, and Annabelle has eaten all but the 116 ounces I have frozen to use in the future. 

One awful bout of mastitis  and a trip to the doctor for antibiotics later, I am feeling extremely confident in our routine. Ask me again after we travel for the holidays when I have to pump in an airport, possibly during a flight, and in a car during a long road trip. I'm not sure how confident I'll be feeling then, but I'll always have this blog post as a reminder of how hard I've worked so far.

It may not be ideal, but we have a system down now that works for us. During the day (and in the middle of the night), I will feed Annabelle her four ounce bottle of breastmilk, and then she will play on her play yard or go back to sleep in her crib while I pump nearby in the rocking chair in her nursery for 20 minutes. I pump five to six times a day now for 20 minutes at a time and get about 35 ounces of milk a day. When Dan is home in the evenings, he feeds her while I pump.

It was super difficult at first. I felt like I was wasting my time because I couldn't do anything at the same time, and it was so much work for so little milk. I literally watched an entire season of Friends in three days, all while hooked up to a breast pump. Sensing my frustration (or seeing my tears), Dan quickly ordered me a hands free pumping bra online. Life changer. If you're in this situation, you absolutely need one. Now, I can Facebook, blog, read, make Etsy orders, etc. all while pumping - multitasking at its finest, am I right? 

Dan did the math for me (because why else would I marry a physicist if he wouldn't do tough things for me?!), and if I keep pumping at the same rate until July, we will have enough milk stored for little Miss Annabelle to continue reaping its benefits until she is one year old in September - and even beyond once we throw solid foods into the mix as well. One year of breastmilk for my baby is my ultimate goal... but if something prevents that, at least I can say I tried my very hardest.

So while exclusively pumping may not be ideal, and while it may feel like a hassle sometimes because I have to set aside time to feed my daughter AND make time to produce food for her separately, I know I am doing what my heart tells me to do.

And I'll work on trying to not feel the need to justify myself. 

• Did you have any breastfeeding troubles?